March 2019 – markmagpusao.com

Move forward

I’m in this cross roads in life. I should either get a job or go back to school. An unalterable fact is that I’m going through physical therapy for my ACL surgery recovery for the next 6 months. I had to decide fairly quickly so earlier this week I went to my local community college and applied. It is fairly daunting to go back to school, especially being 34, but if you put all the anxiety behind you everything will work out. I took a pretest for my basic college skills. Basic math and pre-alegebra, English reading and English composition. I did horrible at math and English composition. I understand that I suck at math, I hated it in school. But English!? It’s my mother tongue. I also write constantly in my journal, text, letters, and postcards, but rarely on this blog. It’s honestly something I avoid trying to be good at, or even average at, because I didn’t need to write well in any of my jobs that I’ve had. (Navy Eval writing doesn’t count.) Regardless of my skills I need to improve on these subjects if I want a better life. Not just to be good in school or avoid remedial classes. If that is the result I will accept it.

I bought a cliff notes my review book and I’m going to read some English writing books I had on my book shelf. My test is in 11 days. I’ll be using this blog to be an experiment of sort for my writing improvement. I thank everyone and anyone who actually reads my writing, I know I should proofread and organize my thoughts better. I don’t do it well because I never really was taught how to write a blog. I usually type in a stream of consciousness way. The way I usually write letters, postcards, or journal entries.

I have this feeling that school gives me a new excitement for life. A new chapter.

Learn to draw

This video came on my Youtube video feed. I feel he should be highlighted for his work and effort. It’s a long video to watch but that doesn’t mean it isn’t insightful. There were times I walked away from the computer and I just listened to the sound. Give it a watch or a listen.

I struggle with what this guy struggled with, learning art. I went to art school too. Volen, the artist in the video, basically wanted to learn about art six years ago. Fast forward to 2019 and he learned so much on his own as described in his video. He goes through his processes, mistakes and failures, and what he learned out of all of it. He explains everything so humbly, as if he was an amateur even though from my perspective he is very good. He knows there is so much to learn still and he came a long way. At the end of the video he explains the trap of Youtube and learning from people on the net. As though he was afraid he was one of those people you shouldn’t listen to. A self conscious statement but a humble one. I think because he comes from a place of not knowing anything about art and then becoming very experienced on his own is very encouraging for others. I believe he should keep posting and inspiring others. The volume and amount of work he has accomplished is very impressive.

I look at Volen’s work and I realize that if I want to become an artist I have to work hard. The problem with that is I still think the path is undefined. I feel like art is so broad that it can’t be taught by just one person. (Can that statement be used for Jiu Jitsu as well?) For example. He just kept taking classes from different online instructors and sources. He kept self correcting his mistakes after. There are so many ways to create a picture. I think art school was such a waste because it was a lot of self discovery, and fixing your own mistakes. It isn’t a black and white test sheet. I feel like that was the conundrum of art school. They want you to grow as an artist while completing assignments. The goal is to learn and grow, not to produce things to grade. The problem is both teacher and student get lost in that dichotomy. Maybe the small schools of atelier got it right. I don’t know I have never been, but I have seen their art and students work. Ateliers are workshops/schools where there are masters teaching apprentices a certain discipline. I sometimes wonder if that will be a better choice than going back to art school.

This was a good video for me because recently I’ve pondering going back to school. I was thinking about going back to art school because I was so close to finishing. No other degree peaks my interest. Maybe English or creative writing. I like hedge my bets. I really enjoy traveling and languages. So maybe I’ll be an English teacher in South Korea or Spain. A reason why I don’t go to an Atelier to learn how to draw and paint. It doesn’t have a degree attached to it. So I can’t use my GI bill. I want to make the most out of every benefit the military offered me.

What I learned from this post. I need to produce more volume. It will be a long road. Although it seems like the journey is well worth it.

Week 7 Post Surgery

I know, I know. It has been a long time between posts. It just isn’t on my to do lists.

A few things to report on the past few weeks.

Cloth Drawings.

Purpose of the Drawings. I want to get better. I need to work on a portfolio. I think back of Daniel Adel’s Paper drawings. Amazing. It really is practice. I went back to drawing instead of water color because to paint you really have to be a good draftsman.

A failed Comic book. On my birthday I tried to do a 24 hour comic since I couldn’t travel or do anything I wanted to do like Jiu Jitsu. I wanted to do a comic about my travels in 2017. It was a good subject. I just didn’t have enough skill, experience or drawing endurance to complete such a task. It was a major undertaking. I learned a lot from the experience. My curiosity peaked to study the world of comics and drawing more. I read Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud again. Then I read Making Comics. Now I’m reading Comics and Sequential Art by Will Eisner. It is a project I still want to do in the future.

Some provoking questions to ask myself. What do I want to do with my Art? Do I want to make beautiful art. Yes. But that can’t be the only reason to make art. Anyone can make a pretty pictures. How do I transcend the surface of it? Story. Maybe a narrative to connect the viewer/reader with the art. Beauty gets boring. I like to laugh and have fun. How can I steer my work in that direction?

My friends and family came to visit. It felt great to get out and experience Houston with my guests. I have friends here in Spring but childhood friends have a special place. We laugh and reminisce. They are also very creative and doing different things with their lives. Its interesting to hear their stories. We did a myriad of things. We visited the Johnson Space Center, watched a pro wrestling event in a parking lot in Montrose, saw the Fighting with my family movie, ate Texas BBQ at Corkscrew BBQ and tacos at Bigotes. Larry and Fernando are going to start a pro wrestling podcast. I fully support them because of their wealth of knowledge and experience of the industry. I pitched them a travel show where they go to different countries and interview the wrestling scenes in each country. There are subcultures in every country and pro wrestling is no different. I suggested the countries I’ve visited or want to visit. South Korea, Ireland. South Africa or Mexico. I can be their camera man I think its undiscovered territory in the Vloging world.

My mother and sister came. I can’t thank them enough for their love and support.